5 (I think)

January 30, 2007

Good morning. I don’t have too much to bitch about this morning. The boss lady was being a complete pain in the ass yesterday. I spent about 10 minutes in my area, the rest of the time I was upstairs. I think the same thing is going to happen today. She expects me to know and do things I have never done before. I can not stand working here anymore. I really need to keep looking for a new job. On the other side of life….. Jake slept with me last night. I got a couple pictures of that, but I do not know where the stupid cable is. I have to try and find it yet again. I swear I can lose anything and everything. I am also really bad about getting somethings done. I have a couple of cds that have been written on (pictures) but I took my computer downstairs and have not put it back together upstairs yet. I have a few more cds to write then I can send them out. I do apologize to those who are waiting for them. I also have some purple yarn for DKM to help with making some blankets. I am also going to try and send her and Brandi a donation. That is something that I have to wait until payday for. This paycheck is for bills and hopefully I will be able to send a little bit. I was able though to get an Oreo sweatshirt. I am so excited about that. I can’t wait to have something of his. I will be able to wear his picture. I can also see myself wearing it everyday.  I feel like I have missed so much not being on the computer. I hope I get time to get online again today. I am also planning on (with taxes) getting a laptop computer that can go online without being hooked up to the wall. Maybe that way I will have less problems. I have to pay off the furniture then if I have any money after that I will be looking into it. That way I can even go online while at a meeting. OOOOOO that would be great. Well I have to get to work. I hope everyone has  a great day.

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4

January 24, 2007

Good afternoon to all. I went to the doctor yesterday. I have for the past few years had sharp pain in my lower abdomen area. Well I just couldn’t deal with it so I decided to talk to the doc. He tells me that before we go and do any testing that he wants me to increase my fiber intake. He is suggesting that it is IBS. So I guess I have to start eating more solulable fiber foods. The only thing is I eat maybe two meals a day and they are not even real “meals” so how am I going to do this? The past couple nights me and the kids have slept out at my new friends house. It is really weird. I miss having my boys around to wake me up soo they can be fed. He has two cats and one of them woke me last night. It was really cute. I will have to get some pics. The grey one is a big man cat. The other is an all black kitty. They are both pretty shy. Well I am job hunting at this point. My friend’s sister work might have positions that are during the day. She works 3rd and 2nd shift. They have weird hours but hoping that they have regular 9-5 hours. I am going to get the name of the company and apply online. Things are good right now. I have made a decision to really start working my program. I will be doing the third step this week. I have already started to give it up. “Let go and let Got”.  A lot of people say “turn it over”. So I have been doing that. I know I have no control over what happens in my life. What is supposed to happen will. Well I am really looking forward to doing the 3rd step. I have never looked forward to doing any work that is involved. So this is a big change. I talked to my sponser last night and we are going to hook up soon. She stated that she was waiting for me to take the inishitive (sp?) She is just as excited as I am. Well that’s the report from this end I will talk to you all later. Have a great day/night.


3

January 22, 2007

Well I hope everyone had a great weekend. I don’t remember all of mine. It was pretty good. A lot of running around. My daughters B-day party was so much fun. She had a good time. There were only 5 kids total but it is better than the 3 I origanlly planned. We were there about 3 hours having a good time. So that was saturday. Sunday I did a lot of running around. I got a new car from a friend. I bought it for someone else. They just don’t have the money right now (neither do I) but my friend said I could take the car and make payments when ever I could. It is only 500 dollars.  I told her I could possibly do 50 bucks every two weeks. She’s fine with that. The friend will pay it back when they get the money. I will not get a bill of sale until it is paid off which kinda sucks because I wanted to register it.  Oh well. That’s they way it goes.  As far as the company moving I don’t think I will ever be going there. I am not sure though. I am trying to get a new job. The thing with that is I am trying to get a job in the CT place with the same company but a different branch. I just don’t think I can do it unless I make more than what I do now. We will have to wait and see.I don’t really have too much more to say so have a great day.


I got my raise

January 19, 2007

Ok so I have some time to be on the computer this afternoon. I forgot to say that I finally got my raise and review. My review was fine they gave me all “G” and “VG” feelin like a kid. VG is the second best (really the best) because they have “O” which they never give. When I first started here after three months I got a dollar raise then nine months later there was a kid. No I’m just kidding. I got another dollar. Then one year after that I got 1.25 for my raise. So I was expecting to get about a dollar this time. Oh man was I ever so disappointed. I got a whopping .50 cents. I am not sure if I should be mad (I am) or not because the boss ladies boss decided that 12.75 would be the cap for my job. A lousy 4% raise.  What the fuck. I do make more than a lot of other people next door in the lab. Who have als been here longer. I don’t know I do know that I am pissed about that.


2

January 18, 2007

Ok so it has been a little while since I last wrote. Well today is my daughter’s 9th birthday. I am going to do a small cake and card thing tonight, but on Saturday I am planning a party for her at the roller skating rink. I have only invited one friend of hers. My mom was getting on my case about that. So I told her to get some numbers of a few friends. It will be a last minute invite but oh well. I am hoping that I will have enough money to cover everyone who goes. I do want her friends to go. I hope that she gets their numbers and they can attend. So now lets get into something else. I finished that dreaded conversation with my mom. I feel as though she gave me an ultimatium. She wants me to get everyone into counceling. She also wants me to take parenting classes. She basically said I was a bad mother. Then I stop and think of all the shit she did and didn’t do. I feel as though she has no right to say half of the shit she says. As a child I was abused emotionall, mentally and physically. I might not be the best mother around but I do not abuse my kids. I have let all that go though. I do not hold it against her. It just upsets me because she tries to tell me how to raise them and she didn’t do such a great job. I don’t know. I know she did the best she could and that is what I am trying to do. I just found out that my son has fallen at school and his nose hit the cement stairs. I am debating on wether or not to get him and take him to the hospital. The nurse said he can breath and that it is swollen and bruised. So I am not sure. I will probably get him anyways. Well I have no time to day have a great day!


Much better

January 15, 2007

I had a nice conversation with the new guy. We talked about a lot of stuff. I let him know how I felt and he made some reassurances. I also had a nice conversation with Barbie-Lou about the same type of stuff. I feel horrible nobody I know wants the kitties. I am not going to give up though. I just feel so bad especially for Ebinezer. I so want to take him home. This is where if I had my own place I would. In a heartbeat. I don’t know why people can not just say yes I’ll take them. What is the matter with people. I understand if you have too many all ready but….. well lets go to something else. I had a “talk” with my mom and thought it was over but I guess not. She asked me the other day when we could finish. I am getting nervous again. I have to make a phone call about that one. Well I have to get to work so I will see ya’ll later on. Have a great day.


1

January 12, 2007

You all know how much I hate coming up with titles so I decided to just do numbers. If I come up with a good title I will use it but for now it will be numbers. Well going to yesterdays post. I was thinking about a lot of stuff last night. Karen pointed it out as well. I would love to be friends and he wants the same thing. I just don’t know how hard it would be to just be friends. I believe he would like to be friends for now and start again later on. I undderstand all that. I even understand the reasons for it.  I am not angry about it. Well maybe a little. But i do understand. I just am not sure if I would be able to deal with the friendship thing well emotionally speaking. I know that is probably “childish” for me to feel this way but I don’t give a shit. I know that it will take some time but I will be ok. Oh I had a phone call this morning and I normally don’t answer numbers I don’t know. Well it was Joe. He says will you talk to me and I said about what he says anything I said I can’t I’m at work. Then I hung up. I just got to work when he called. So I didn’t lie but I should not have answered the phone. I hope that doesn’t start again.  I kinda feel like I owe him something. Maybe I should talk to him. I don’t know. I have to go over to CT today sometime this afternoon. I have to get their label machine working. I am looking forward to that. I get paid to drive there and back. Two hours of doing nothing and getting paid for it. Sweet. The only problem is I have to pay the gas. Oh well. Well I am off have a great day.